Loneliness.
It can break a person.
Maybe that's why solitary confinement is such a terrifying punishment.
I was never alone, but I was always alone.
I grew up in a large family, surrounded by love. I married and had children. For years, I hid my substance abuse.
I think the alcohol took control of my life when my oldest child moved to Israel.
Everything went downhill from there. Within a couple of months I got divorced and my other child moved to Laval with her boyfriend.
This was 8 years ago and it was my rock bottom.
Somehow I was given Chabad Lifeline's number and they helped me get into recovery.
Chabad Lifeline was the first place I ever felt connected. It was a feeling that was foreign to me. It's a feeling of peace. A feeling of serenity.
Life resumed. On occasion, I'd speak to my Chabad Lifeline "family," just to keep in touch with the staff who helped me.
When the current Coronavirus crisis began, I got a call from Chabad Lifeline. I was fine at the time. Or so I thought.
Over the last months, I regressed. The feelings of connection, of serenity, diminished.
The choking loneliness returned.
Finally, I broke.
I had a drink.
My first drink in 8 years.
The warmth of the fluid spread through my body, drowning the feelings of isolation.
And then, a moment of clarity. A moment of panic.
I cannot go through this again.
I called Chabad Lifeline. I asked for help.
One phone call may have saved my life. I'm back in recovery now, healing. Finding serenity.
Connecting.
If you're out there during this Coronavirus outbreak, and the isolation is suffocating, and you're thinking of finding peace through your addiction, stop.
Chabad Lifeline is waiting for your call. They are ready to help you. Right now. Like immediately.
Give them a call. 514-738-7700. You'll find serenity. You'll find peace.
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