Peter Bailey grew up with an informed world view.
Being that his aunt is a world expert on sex addiction, he always knew how damaging pornography can be. How it destroyed families. Brought misery into the world.
When he was young, Bailey vowed to never contribute to suffering and always work with people who hold a similar perspective. Recently, his morals were put to the test.
Bailey works for a company that helps businesses raise money for a variety of means by finding tax credits, investors, etc. They primarily deal in hi-tech and have been doing so for 20 years.
The company staff is a diverse team of 17 people from different backgrounds and cultures. They have an in house rule: don't contribute to human misery. Several months ago, Bailey was approached by a company with a lucrative offer for a $300,000 contract. "The company involved hosts adult entertainment. It's over 95% of their revenues," said Bailey in an interview with Chabad Lifeline. "We have four partners. I turned to them and said, "hey guys, this is the potential contract. I want to say no, but you are the partners so what do you think?" And it was unanimous that we would not work with them."
There wasn't even a moment of hesitation. "We would have all felt ashamed to take such a contract," Bailey explained. "It's just not who we are. Once you go down that path, your ethics go out the window. And we all know that porn is such a large scale problem. We don't want to contribute toward human misery. In this case, because all they do is host adult entertainment, we just couldn't do it."
Pornography can be extremely harmful to individuals. And then there is the highly addictive aspect that the porn industry feeds off. In fact, over 20% of Chabad Lifeline's traffic is related to sex addiction, which typically contains an element of pornography. "Porn is highly addictive, it changes and rewires the brain," explained Jennifer Kotry, Chabad Lifeline's Senior Addiction & Trauma Therapist. "Consumers develop tolerance, and spend more and more time needing more and more hardcore, explicit, and often violent imagery."
Kotry is one of only two Certified Sex Addiction Counselors in Quebec. She is also Bailey's aunt. "Pornography can not only destroy intimacy in relationships by considering sex with a loving partner ‘boring’ and not stimulating, it can also ruin relationships," she added. "Porn is isolating and demotivating and fuels depression, anxiety, guilt, and shame. And finally, it supports and promotes human sex trafficking - a modern form of slavery."
"We have a clear understanding of the devastation porn addiction causes in people's lives," said Director Rabbi Benyamin Bresinger. "People often come to us for help with alcoholism and drug addiction and then in our screening - which is very thorough - we discover that they are also struggling with other addictions such as sex addiction. And some of our clients have been in AA or other fellowships for years!"
"Few are challenging the sexual behaviours of alcoholics and drug addicts in recovery," he added. "They say that as long as the addicts are not harming anyone, it's ok. We disagree. It's not ok if their other behaviours are feeding the addiction. We are unique in that we challenge our clients. And because of that, we've brought people to a much deeper sobriety."
Bailey's partners and coworkers were aware of the dangers of addiction, particularly sex addiction, thanks to Kotry's influence. "My aunt Jennifer is really good about putting stuff out there," he said. "I have a 12 year old son and because of what she taught me, I've had a long talk with him about online porn. Because there's a tidal wave of porn out there."
Bailey's business has also turned down opportunities with gambling/gaming companies. "An example of where we drew the line was when we had a chance to help a company that enables people with poor credit to purchase items," he related. "The company is ethical, but we figured that some people may lose money getting into deeper debt and we don't want to contribute to human misery. That was a grey area but we stepped back."
Bailey's company doesn't need a sales team. Due to their fantastic reputation of integrity and business ethics, they currently have over 170 clients and each one is a treasured relationship. "We help companies that do cancer research for real time diagnostic purposes," he said with pride. "We help companies that produce medicines to help children with severe epilepsy. We have helped companies who created some of the parts you are using on your phone right now. That stuff is really fun to work with." In hindsight, does Bailey feel his company made the right decision? "I brag that I've worked with people who help NASA," he said. I can't imagine bragging about helping a porn company get $800,000. I want to contribute to human achievement."
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