Printed from ChabadLifeline.com

Chabad Lifeline blog

Scott's story: "The disconnect is killing me."

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Hi, my name is Scott* and I am a porn addict.

I'm writing this knowing that someone in my situation may be afraid to ask for help. I thought I would take this secret to my grave.

I was first exposed to porn when I was 12 years old. But while my friends were able to move on, I just couldn't get those images - the ones showing "pleasure", the ones hitting my brain with dopamine - out of my head.

I needed more. And I found them. On my phone.

Every night (and sometimes during the day) I was awash in a fantasy world. I was on my cell phone but the disconnect was killing me.

Things got worse in college. I started failing tests. I wasn't sleeping. I was missing classes.

I turned to a student counselor, who had the insight to send me to Chabad Lifeline. I can tell you, this saved my life.

I was given a treatment plan and joined Lifeline's sex addiction program.

I had dropped out of college but over the summer I've been preparing and have been accepted back into college. As of today, I'm four months clean and I'm looking forward to a full year ahead.

If you are reading this and have experienced some of what I've gone through, call Chabad Lifeline. They've been discreet, they've been amazing, and for that I'm very grateful. Don't be afraid to reach out for help!

Note: Scott is a pseudonym used by the author of this blog post to protect his privacy.

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