Printed from ChabadLifeline.com

Chabad Lifeline blog

Magnificent Magnifying Mind

899171.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I walked by a guy the other day and he had a look of disgust on his face. First I was mad – thinking, “Who does he think he is?” Then I got outraged – thinking, “Doesn’t he know who I am?” I joke with my kids saying, “Do you have any idea how important I am in my head? After all, I might not be much, but I am all that I think about.

It’s when I take another’s actions personally that I am concluding that he is wronging me, and that the target of his disrespect is me. That’s False Evidence Appearing Real - FEAR!! Probably his thoughts at the time of the crime have nothing whatsoever to do with me. Nevertheless, because of my fear of not being enough, I see his facial expression as showing his contempt towards me. After all, my “stinkin’ thinkin’” says that I am contemptible. My fear manifests itself through anger and outrage. I go into attack mode, usually internally, because “It’s a inside job!”

There is a way out of this painful way of walking through life — always reacting personally. Let’s go back to the scene of the assault and reenact it differently. So here comes “sour pus” heading my way. The Torah tells us that “It’s a mitzvah to pray for our every need.” My need at this moment is to put myself, and my character defect of self centeredness, in its proper place. Therefore, my prayer goes up saying, “Bless him! Change me.” I consider his possible need over my faulty fear. Each time I offer up this prayer, I not only don’t take it personally, I am freed from the grip of the insane message that I am a victim of a crime against Benyamin. G-d answers my request because I got out of the way even if it's only a moment of humility.

So, the next time I am attacked by my own fear, I can take it to G-d instead of taking it personally -- by asking for the others to be blessed, I am being changed.

 

The Reality of Pornography

“A TSUNAMI is coming….” these prophetic words were said nearly 20 years ago by a Psychologist named Patrick Carnes renowned for creating a highly successful treatment protocol for sex addiction. The TSUNAMI Carnes referred to was the ever-increasing explosion of digital technology, which allows (among many other things) people to access a myriad of sexual content and/or contact within seconds.

Consider: a Canadian researcher attempting a research study on effects of porn on young men, stymied because he could not find a control group (i.e., a group of young men who hadn’t watched porn….); the countless sites that offer every ‘thrill’ under the sun and then some, dating sites and hook-up ‘apps’ whereby people can find sexual hook-ups in minutes, the average age of first porn viewing is 11 years old, and porn is just the tip of the ice-burg, PIED – porn induced erectile dysfunction, ‘sexting’ is now the norm for teens and young adults including sending nude pictures to all and sundry of one’s current partner or hook-up. The reality pornography in all it guises and sexual hook-ups IRL or online can be attained anywhere, anytime – all the time!

 

Houston we have a problem – THE TSUNAMI HAS ARRIVED!

FORTUNATELY -  there are life jackets….  

Looking for older posts? See the sidebar for the Archive.